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Film / Filmgames / Chuck Norris' Knock Out

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- noot: Bewust niet de titel 'Knock Out Chuck Norris' gekozen, omdat dat niet kan. -

Om als site niet het risico te lopen van het internet verwijderd te worden door Chuck Norris moet hij geëerd worden met een uitgebreide zoektocht naar de gaafste Chuck Norris-fact. Hiervoor 384 facts geselecteerd van o.a. chucknorrisfacts.com en ons eigen Chuck Norris-topic en vervolgens deze pagina gebruikt voor de loting. De eerste ronde bestaat uit 3 facts per battle. Opnieuw loten na elke ronde is niet nodig.

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1e Ronde: 5 punten, 1 verschil;
2e Ronde: 7 punten, 2 verschil;
3e Ronde: 9 punten, 2 verschil;
4e Ronde: 10 punten, 2 verschil;
5e Ronde: 12 punten, 2 verschil;
Kwartfinales: 13 punten, 2 verschil;
Halve Finales: 14 punten, 2 verschil;
Troostfinale: 15 punten, 2 verschil;
Finale: 15 punten, 2 verschil.

1e Ronde (5 punten, 1 verschil):

1e Ronde (5 punten, 1 verschil):

1. Someone once stabbed Chuck Norris with a knife. The knife bled to death. - When it%u2019s getting hot in herre Chuck Norris is still cold, ice-cold%u2026- When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
2. The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn. - When Chuck Norris spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame. - Chuck Norris make onions cry.
3. Chuck Norris%u2019 house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. - Chuck Norris doesn't shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. - Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
4. Despite all the killing Chuck Norris never has problems with the law. Cause there is only one law: Chuck Norris' law. - Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. - When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
5. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it. - Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around. - Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
6. Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either. - Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits. - Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
7. The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep. - Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. - What%u2019s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn%u2019t use its full name, which happens to be %u201CUltimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division%u201D.
8. It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. - When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive. - If you shout his name out your window, Chuck Norris will hear you.
9. When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Chuck Norris is never the rotten egg. - The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide. - Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
10. Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition. - Chuck Norris found out who Keyser Sose was, just by looking at the video cover. - Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement".
11. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. - It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch a 60 minute-show. - Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
12. Back in the '50s, there was a lot of controversy because Chuck Norris was the first black woman to refuse to sit at the back of the bus. He roundhouse kicked every white person in sight, and now he sits wherever the fuck he wants to. - Chuck Norris can beat the odds. With his fists. - In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
13. No white man may use the word nigga, except for Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the wooshing sound of a roundhouse kick. - Chuck Norris doesn%u2019t go hunting, hunting implies the chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
14. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous. - When you see Chuck Norris, he sees you. When you don%u2019t see Chuck Norris you%u2019re just seconds away from death. - Chuck Norris sneezes only once every seven years. The Mexicans know this as El Nino.
15. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. - Chuck Norris invented the internet%u2026 just so he had a place to store his porn. - If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
16. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. - Chuck Norris once beat a Royal Flush in a poker game. - Millions of years ago Chuck Norris yelled %u2018BANG%u2019 to a couple of dinosaurs. Nowadays it%u2019s called The Big Bang.
17. Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked. - Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head. - Once, Chuck Norris sneezed so hard that he created the leap year.
18. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. - Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouse kicks any cars that get too close. - Chuck Norris has killed more men than death.
19. Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hits. - There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. - Chuck Norris once set foot on Atlantis. No one saw Atlantis ever since.
20. Earth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris stared fear in the eye. Fear pissed on himself. - Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
21. Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face. - Chuck Norris once met a man who cried because he had no shoes after which he ripped the man's feet off and said, "Now you don%u2019t need shoes." - Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
22. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo. - Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage. - The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
23. Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris." - Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris pities Mr.T.
24. When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. - Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun, and won. - Chuck Norris can kick start a car.
25. Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair. - If you're driving down the road and you think Chuck Norris just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around. - When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
26. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear. - Chuck Norris his tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. - When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
27. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. - When Chuck Norris runs on checkmate, he still wins. - Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
28. Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes. - Chuck Norris pimped Xzibit%u2019s ride. - Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
29. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. - The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris. - With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
30. Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries. - Jay-Z%u2019s 99 problems were all Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
31. For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls. - There are two types of people in the world... people who die, and Chuck Norris. - When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the %u2018Hulk%u2019. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
32. Chuck Norris doesn%u2019t read books, the words assemble themselves out of fear. - Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it. - After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
33. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. - Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands. - Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
34. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" - Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost. - When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
35. Guns don%u2019t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people. - Chuck Norris doesn't follow rules. Except his own. - Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he%u2019s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
36. Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed. - In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. He was running from Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover.
37. Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic. - It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face. - Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
38. Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight. The knife lost. - Chuck Norris doesn%u2019t like Bob Saget. - When you die, the last thing you see is Chuck Norris.
39. Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth. - There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. - Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
40. Chuck Norris knew of the Watergate before Nixon did. - Chuck Norris' mirror does not tell him how good he looks. It does, however, tell him which people do have such a mirror so Chuck can roundhouse kick them to death, for no one deserves to look better than Mr. Norris. - Hiroshima wasn't nuked, it was Chuck Norrised.
41. Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. - Once, someone tried to take Chuck Norris by the hand. Chuck Norris took that person by the soul. - A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
42. Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography. - Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
43. Chuck Norris can clap with one hand. - Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor. - Chuck Norris knew were Nemo was all along.
44. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. - The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. - Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
45. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday. - In Spain, the people may be running for the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris%u2019 house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
46. When Chuck Norris looks into a broken mirror, the mirror fixes itself out of respect. - Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. - Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
47. When you pull a light switch Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you to the face before the light is on. - Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club. - Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Fourty seven times.
48. Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris swam through land. - The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second. - Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
49. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but nothing beats Chuck Norris. - When there's a fire, you stop, drop, and roll. When there's a Chuck Norris, you stop, drop, and die. - Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
50. There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris. - Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode. - When Chuck norris found this web-site while surfing the internt, he round house kicked his computer...10 new facts were added instantly.including this one.
51. According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks. - Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face. - Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
52. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. - Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking. - Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.
53. Chuck Norris once fought a bear simply because it dared to grow more body hair than Chuck Norris. - At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.
54. As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge. - Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die. - Chuck Norris is The Matrix.
55. The devil once sold his soul to Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day. - Fighting Chuck Norris is what Meatloaf wouldn't do for love.
56. The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary. - The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. - Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.
57. When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back. - Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face. - Chuck Norris once went on %u2018Celebrity Jeopardy%u2019 and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. He won.
58. In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe. - Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
59. Chuck Norris was supposed to be the next face on Mt. Rushmore. Unfortunately the granite is not a hard enough materiel to replicate Chuck Norris' beard. - Veni, Vidi, Chuck Norris - Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
60. Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris today." - Chuck Norris once moved an immovable object, he just roundhouse kicked it. - Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down.
61. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost. - Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick). - Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
62. During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds. - Chuck Norris let the dogs out. - If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
63. Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy. - The only reason God rested on the 7th day was because Chuck Norris let him. - Tornados only exists because Chuck Norris often chooses to practice his roundhouse kicks outside.
64. Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist. - If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down. - There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
65. Bullets dodge Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in one turn; he just roundhouse kicks the queen. - Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
66. Time travels through Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris speak fluently in all languages. Thats 6,916 languages. 6,912 on Earth. And 4 that dont exist yet. - Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
67. Chuck Norris stood next to Moses and roundhouse kicked the red sea to part it. - Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back. - People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
68. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. - There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. - Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
69. Chuck Norris doesn't do drugs. Drugs do Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris is so popular he was voted prom king and queen. - Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
70. P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet. - Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris doesn't need to use toilet paper because shit is too scared to stick to his ass.
71. The Sherman tank was originaly called the Norris tank until Chuck Norris decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him. The Army, for fear of Chuck Norris, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been badass enough to be named after Chuck Norris. - When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face. - Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
72. Batman collects Chuck Norris action figures. - Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face. - Chuck Norris will grant you a wish, if your wish is death.
73. Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face. - Chuck Norris doesn%u2019t wash his clothes, he disembowels them. - There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
74. There is no CNTRL button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. - Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. - The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
75. Chuck Norris was once the FBI's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Chuck Norris." - That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid. - Chuck Norris doesn%u2019t know how to swim, he just tells the water to get the fuck out of his way.
76. Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold. - Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.
77. A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states. - Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds. - Someone once told Chuck Norris that a roundhouse kick is not the most effective way to strike someone.... this was recorded as the biggest mistake anyone has ever made.
78. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris. - The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris' mother tried to terminate her pregnancy, but Chuck Norris survived the operation through the sheer determination of his will.
79. Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts. - Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.
80. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. - Chuck Norris can find the needle, just by looking at the hay. - Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.
81. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting. - The show %u2018Survivor%u2019 had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage. - Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
82. Adolf Hitler didn't commit suicide. Chuck Norris just got bored of WWII. - He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris %u2026 dies. - Chuck Norris was once on %u2018Celebrity Wheel of Fortune%u2019 and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
83. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. - Chuck Norris doesn't need a steer wheel , he just forces the car in the right direction. - If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
84. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris" - Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. - There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
85. Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. No one heard of them ever since. - Chuck Norris defeated the Canadian Army with a rusty wooden spoon. - Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
86. There%u2019s an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first. - Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. But never his own. - Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
87. Chuck Norris lucky number is one, because that%u2019s how many tries it takes him to accomplish any task. - They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody. - Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
88. Chuck Norris calendar goes from March 31 to April 2. Nobody fools Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order. - In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
89. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." - The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris. - If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
90. Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children. - Zeus from Greek myth fathered many children, has a beard, and killed his own father. No, Zeus is not Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris killed Zeus for copying him. - Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
91. Chuck Norris doesn%u2019t wait for lines, lines wait for Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. - Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.
92. There is no such thing as global warming, Chuck Norris just got cold and turned the sun up. - Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face. - The earth spins because Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her.
93. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man from his blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris hasnt got any stairs in his house, he climb up the walls. - Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.
94. James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. - Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun. - When Chuck Norris has a bad day, people die. When Chuck Norris has a good day... twice as many people die and a few things explode.
95. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right leg. - An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but not Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris was the mayor of Sodom & Gomorra. He lived.
96. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. - Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. - The movie %u2018Delta Force%u2019 was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
97. Chuck Norris can look Faith in the eye and say %u201CGet the fuck outta here!%u201D - Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. - George W. Bush thinks he is the president of the United States. He is wrong, Chuck Norris is.
98. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Gandhi in the face. - When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them. - When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
99. Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run. - Freddy Krueger has nightmares of Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
100. Chuck Norris sets off motion detectors without moving. - Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale. - Chuck Norris has only one theory about life: death.
101. Chuck Norris can hold his breathe for nine years. - When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon. - Chuck Norris can make women orgasm by pointing and saying "booya!"
102. CNN was originally created as the %u2018Chuck Norris Network%u2019 to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time. - Chuck Norris is the only person that can e-mail a roundhouse kick. - Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and shits gun powder. Then he uses that gun powder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life".
103. Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings. - Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later. - When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
104. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris uses Tobasco sauce for his eye drops. - A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
105. Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover. - There is no such thing as wind. What you feel is the breeze generated from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking someone in the face. - Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
106. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. - Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Chuck Norris will beat his ass and take it. - When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
107. If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear everything. Chuck Norris can hear the shrieking terror in your soul. - Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. - Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
108. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. - Chuck Norris invented water so he could walk on it. - In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
109. Chuck Norris once entered a pistol fight without bullets, and won. - Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. - For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
110. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. - Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks. - The Titanic would not have sunk if Chuck Norris was on board.
111. Chuck Norris built Mount Everest with a bucket and spade. - Chuck Norris doesn't need wings to fly. Gravity is afraid of him. - If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
112. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris. - There are no such things as Lesbians.only women that Chuck Norris hasnt met yet. - Crime does not pay - unless you are Chuck Norris.
113. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. - Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told. - Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.
114. Scotty in Star Trek often says %u201CYe cannae change the laws of physics.%u201D This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists. - Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5. - The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
115. Chuck Norris can catch Roudrunner, walking. - Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down. - The people of Atlantis made a statue of Chuck Norris. He didn%u2019t like it%u2026
116. Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness, and a roundhouse kick in the face. - Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice. - When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
117. Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live. - The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher. - Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
118. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. - Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face. - Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.
119. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum. - Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. - Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
120. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. - Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you. - Chuck Norris can refuse an offer from Don Corleone.
121. Jay-Z had 99 problems. Chuck Norris just one, Who shall he roundhouse kick to death today? - Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song. - When the traffic lights turn red people stop. But not Chuck Norris, he never stops.
122. There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris. - He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick. - Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
123. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi. - Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. - The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one is physically able to tell you.
124. When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies. - The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade. - The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron%u2019s ass halfway through the first chapter.
125. When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult. - Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER. - Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
126. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time. - Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people. - The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
127. The crossing lights in Chuck Norris's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian. - A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay. - Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
128. The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris need no car, he simply roundhouse kick the earth and wait until it stop exactly under his desired location. - Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Chuck Norris to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Chuck Norris had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.

Edit: 1. zijn op sommige plekken door het kopieren-plakken vanuit Word wat vage tekens in de tekst gekomen, gelieve die er even uit te halen bij het plaatsen van een nieuwe battle. 2. mochten er ergens onverhoopt geen 3, maar 2 facts in een battle staan mag hier een nieuwe geplaatst worden (wie het eerst komt, wie het eerst maalt), evenals wanneer er per ongeluk een fact dubbel in voorkomen zou.


(afbeelding)
"Participate, or die!"

avatar van Goodfella_90
1e Ronde (5 punten, 1 verschil):

1. Someone once stabbed Chuck Norris with a knife. The knife bled to death. - When it's getting hot in herre Chuck Norris is still cold, ice-cold... - When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

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avatar van danuz
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Achmed
3-0-3

avatar van Spetie
4-0-3 leuk verzonnen Goodfella.

avatar van Cheo
5-0-3

avatar van Goodfella_90
2. The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn. - When Chuck Norris spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame. - Chuck Norris make onions cry.

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avatar van Cheo
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avatar van starbright boy
starbright boy (moderator)
0-1-4


avatar van danuz
0-3-4

avatar van Kraay
leuk! maar eerst door het algemeen discussietopic graag, daar staan nl al 4 ko's in de wacht

Oeltras
Leuk idd, maar wat Kraay zegt is waar!

avatar van Goodfella_90
Miepjes. Gewoon een leuk tussendoortje dit, geen al te serieuze ko of iets dergelijks.

Doe mee en lach, of doe niet mee.


avatar van Goodfella_90
3. Chuck Norris's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. - Chuck Norris doesn't shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. - Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

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avatar van Kraay
Goodfella_90 schreef:
Miepjes. Gewoon een leuk tussendoortje dit, geen al te serieuze ko of iets dergelijks.

Doe mee en lach, of doe niet mee.


ik vind het best dat hij gedaan wordt, maar dan vind ik niet dat hij mag 'meetellen' als ko, dat zou namelijk beteken dat ko's die al sinds juni in de wacht staan (beste regisseur, actrice, acteur/actrice) nog langer mogen wachten, wat wel heel sneu zou zijn, aangezien deze niet eens gemeld is.

avatar van Kraay
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avatar van Cheo
0-2-4

avatar van DVD-T
0-2-5

avatar van DVD-T
4. Despite all the killing Chuck Norris never has problems with the law. Cause there is only one law: Chuck Norris' law. - Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. - When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.

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Gast
geplaatst: vandaag om 16:58 uur

geplaatst: vandaag om 16:58 uur

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