Computerperikelen in films

Ik vond dit lijstje in news://nl.kunst.film, misschien wel leuk om hier ook eens te posten.

Did you ever notice that in the movies, computers...

1. Never display a cursor.

2. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.

3. Movie characters never make typing mistakes.

4. All monitors display inch-high letters.

5. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces.

6. Those that don't have graphical interfaces will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

7. You can access any information you want by simply typing, "ACCESS THE SECRET FILES" on any nearby keyboard.

8. You can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS". (See "Fortress".)

9. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer even if it's turned off.

10.Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read.(Really advanced computers will also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.)

11.All computer panels operate on thousands of volts and have explosive devices underneath their surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash of light, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks and an explosion that ultimately causes you to jump backwards!

12.People typing on a computer can safely turn it off without saving the data.

13.A hacker is always able to break into the most sensitive computer in the world by guessing the secret password in two tries.

14.You may bypass "PERMISSION DENIED" message by using the "OVERRIDE" function. (See "Demolition Man".)

15.Computers only take 2 seconds to boot up instead of the average 2 minutes for desktop PCs and 30 minutes or more for larger systems that can run 24 hours, 365 days a year without a reset.

16.Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.

17.When the power plant/missile site/main computer overheats, all control panels will explode shortly before the entire building will.

18.If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen (See "Clear and Present Danger").

19.If a disk contains encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you insert it.

20.Computers can interface with any other computer regardless of the manufacturer or galaxy where it originated. (See "Independence Day".)

22.Computer disks will work on any computer has a floppy drive and all software is usable on any platforms.

23.The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it will have. (See "Aliens".) Note: You must be highly trained to operate high-tech computers because the buttons have no labels except for the red "SELF-DESTRUCT" button.

24.Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional active animation, photo-realistic graphics capabilities.

25.Laptops always have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and performance similar to a CRAY Supercomputer.

26.Whenever a character looks at a monitor, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto their face. (See "Alien" or "2001".)

27.Searches on the internet will always return what you are looking for no matter how vague your keywords are. (See "Mission Impossible", Tom Cruise searches with keywords like "file" and "computer" and 3 results are returned.)

28.Characters tend to destroy the monitor (mostimes by smashing the tube or dropping it out a window) and then run gleefully from the scene... leaving the computer itself intact.

Ik wilde er zelf ook een posten over dit onderwerp. Je ziet het weer terug in de nieuwe Italian Job, zo verschikkelijk nep. Ook vult de pagina's zichzelf altijd, al met de minste KB,s, een image b.v.

Misschien leuk een lijstje van films.

Ze zijn er nog een paar vergeten. Als je een cursor ziet dan kan men die altijd in perfecte lijnen bewegen met de muis. Ook is het bewerken van fotos heel erg makkelijk in films. Voor beide zie Copycat.

Wat ik nog wel de vaagste vind: als er op een computerscherm een 'target' of iets dergelijks te zien is, blijft dat scherm gevuld worden met nikszeggende tekens, lijntjes, cirkeltjes, etc., vaak nog voorzien van geluid ook. Sowieso vind ik dat in films opvallend vaak idioot wordt gedaan over computers en internet-gerelateerde zaken.

En een afbeelding blijft altijd perfect scherp, ongeacht hoe ver men er op inzoomt.

Wat een toeval. Kom ik net langs een passage in een boek van David Sedaris over dit onderwerp:

"I hate the way [computers] have invaded the movies. I'm not talking about their contribution to the world of special effects. I have nothing against a well-defined mutant or full-scale alien invasion - that's good technology. I'm talking about their actual presence in any given movie. They've become like horses in a western - they may not be the main focus, but everybody seems to have one. Each tiresome new thriller includes a scene in which the hero, trapped by some version of the enemy, runs for his desk in a desperate race against time. Music swells and droplets of sweat rain down onto the keyboard as he sits at his laptop, frantically pawing for answers. It might be different if he were flagging down a passing car or trying to phone for help, but typing, in and of itself, is not an inherently dramatic activity."

7 films die IT geweld aandoen - Webwereld

Usability in the Movies: Top 10 Bloopers - nngroup.com

Ik zie trouwens laatste jaren meer realistische weergave van computers in films.

Tot in de jaren 90 zag je computers met niet bestaande besturingssystemen, grote letters en rare bliepjes.

De eerste vier punten zijn niet van toepassing op You've Got Mail uit 1998, dus nog vóór dit lijstje werd gepubliceerd.

Grappig hoe ze dit (niet) in beeld hebben gebracht:

The Sense of an Ending (2017)

When Hollywood finally noticed the web: What it got right and oh so wrong - CNET

Apple Won’t Let Villains Use iPhones In Movies, Says Rian Johnson - forbes.com

Curieus. Dat betekent dus dat in sommige films een ´held´ een Iphone kan hebben, maar slechteriken het altijd moeten doen met een laptop/computer.

Uit het topic Filmclichés: